Falling and Laughing

6:23. Evening neighborhood watch. On the lookout for: Youth...

Thu, 17 May 2012 19:41:25 -0400

6:23. Evening neighborhood watch. On the lookout for:

Youth street gangs
Excessive horseplay/japery
Overly frolicksome squirrels
That one labradoodle she has an inexplicable vendetta against
Shady goings-on

Gem and I just got super scared on our walk by this giant...

Tue, 15 May 2012 20:02:04 -0400

Gem and I just got super scared on our walk by this giant snake-in-a-tree. Haven’t looked it up on IMDB yet but pretty sure it’s poisonous and/or squeezy. We made a narrow escape.

The view from here, made 58% more happy yesterday via repotting...

Tue, 15 May 2012 11:04:39 -0400

The view from here, made 58% more happy yesterday via repotting plants into new red pots.

A couple weekends ago, I got an email from Louise: She was in a...

Mon, 14 May 2012 21:37:26 -0400

A couple weekends ago, I got an email from Louise: She was in a delightful shambles of a used bookshop and they had a stack of Penguin Poets, and would I like them? Would I like them [interrobang]?!? Yes please! Cut forward to today, which had been utterly crap until I got home from my second of two draining, interminable meetings and found a brown paper-wrapped Air Mail parcel inside my mail slot. I couldn’t get the tape off fast enough. Look at these guys! Better yet, I am told this is only 37.5% of the total amount of Penguin Poets I’ll be receiving. The point of this post being—and I hope she won’t get cross with me for saying so—Louise is inestimably fucking wonderful.

GOOD MORNING CAN I HAVE SOME WALKS NOW PLEASE AND ALSO FOODSTUFF...

Mon, 14 May 2012 05:51:56 -0400

GOOD MORNING CAN I HAVE SOME WALKS NOW PLEASE AND ALSO FOODSTUFF AND WATERS OK DEAL LET’S GO

Loved loved loved this. Alas, it was not for sale.

Sun, 13 May 2012 15:35:07 -0400

Loved loved loved this. Alas, it was not for sale.

Road-tripped up to Two Rivers, WI yesterday to visit the...

Sun, 13 May 2012 15:33:00 -0400

Road-tripped up to Two Rivers, WI yesterday to visit the Hamilton Wood Type & Printing Museum. Still reeling from the sensory overload of three hours in type nerdvana. A visit is highly recommended if you love any of the following: typography, printing, design, colors, craftsmanship, beautiful things. I took loads of pictures; highlights are on my flickr Internet website.

“The House that Heaven Built,” Japandroids And if...

Fri, 11 May 2012 20:47:00 -0400

“The House that Heaven Built,” Japandroids

And if they try to slow you down
Tell ‘em all to go the hell!

Two Despondent Dipsomaniacs and three plays of the new Japandroids album into my evening, I’m ready to declare Celebration Rock one of the most balls-out PMA/life-affirming albums I’ve heard in approx. forever. And all the better for being a questioning PMA: as the first track asks, and answers, “Don’t we have anything to live for? / Well of course we do but till it comes true / We’re drinking!” Opening with fireworks and closing with fireworks, it’s my favorite album so far in a year that has already had a lot of albums I love (OK, tied: still <3 u Grimes!).

P.S. Read Matthew’s excellent interview with Japandroids about the new album.

It’s 5:30! Behold, the tall, frosty glory of the...

Fri, 11 May 2012 18:33:25 -0400

It’s 5:30! Behold, the tall, frosty glory of the Despondent Dipsomaniac. (Thank you Erin for the name, which nicely captures the profound sadness of using Fresca as a mixer, and is alliterative to boot.) What does a Fresca & gin taste like? One part Roy Batty’s tears (pre-rain dilution), one part pixelated juniper, with a soupçon of “Just Me” (I refer, of course, to the Paris Hilton fragrance) at the end.

Please note: it is not an authentic Despondent Dipsomaniac unless served in a tall WHITE COCK glass. Sorry, them’s the rules.

Winning drink concept in need of a name

Fri, 11 May 2012 12:10:59 -0400

I’m not trying to show off or anything, but I’ve been called (by Mikko, my Finnish lover, who has very discerning taste) “an exquisite mixologist.” I am finding my mixocological skills called upon at this very moment after arriving home from the grocery store and realizing I’d forgotten to buy tonic for much-looked-forward-to, much-needed gins-and-tonics this evening. Peering in my refrigerator, that mysterious juxtapositional inspiration that is granted to only the most gifted mixologists hit me like a bolt: Fresca (Original Citrus) & gin. Doesn’t that sound refreshing and delicious, like an animatronic otter jumping into a bracing digital stream? The trouble is, what to call it? Leading candidates are:

The Mincing Footman
The Desperate Housewife
The Confirmed Bachelor
The Doubtful Houseguest

Any other ideas?

Overnight mysterious egg update: fearing my imminent murder, I...

Fri, 11 May 2012 08:37:22 -0400

Overnight mysterious egg update: fearing my imminent murder, I took an emergency trip to Sedona yesterday, where I purchased a vortex pillow that had been cursed by a benevolent desert-witch. The curse is guaranteed to prevent hatching and subsequent murderous acts. As added prophylactics, the pillow is stuffed not with fabric but with ground-up crystals, and the outside is coated with an unguent that smells curiously of the time the circuit board on my Zune fried. I placed the eggs in the center of the pillow as instructed, and woke to find that all has been quiet overnight. I survive one more day to fight.

Every morning. The pre-walk look/position as I put on pants,...

Fri, 11 May 2012 06:17:40 -0400

Every morning. The pre-walk look/position as I put on pants, make coffee, and generally faff around my darkened apartment in a daze. #1 Face (thanks Vicky).

ckck: Swedish summer-themed stamps by Fellow Designers. These...

Thu, 10 May 2012 17:42:27 -0400

ckck:

Swedish summer-themed stamps by Fellow Designers.

These actually came out last summer, but I got some of them on an envelope just the other day and was reminded of how lovely they are.

Further proof, as if any were needed, that Sweden is the greatest country on earth.

Wading through iStock sludge on a quixotic search for a...

Thu, 10 May 2012 17:35:45 -0400

Wading through iStock sludge on a quixotic search for a particular image, I just came across this gem. I have some questions for the artist:

Why does the dog have to be wearing frilly knickers?
Why does the dog have to be giving a sexy over-the-shoulder glance?

Stupid sexy cartoon dachshund.

Slumlord of India

Thu, 10 May 2012 15:13:00 -0400

momtitles:

Slumdog Millionaire

My friend Sandy has started a tumblr with a simple yet genius premise: movie titles as mangled/misremembered by your mom. Behold: Mom Titles. I’m proud to say that this one, Slumlord of India, was contributed by my own mum (um, via me).

—

NB: I have a longstanding interest in this topic. Remember when McSweeney’s lists and Who Wants to Be a Millionaire were all the rage?!? Heady days.

Aw Craig, you are kind to remember Falling + Laughing: The...

Thu, 10 May 2012 15:03:52 -0400

Aw Craig, you are kind to remember Falling + Laughing: The Hypomanic Era. While I still strongly suspect my unmurderability by the hand of man, I lately fear I am vulnerable to murder from supernatural/extradimensional forces. For instance, weird murder-monsters hatched from creepy eggs of unknown provenance, or various members of the -geist family, or the shadow that walks behind me but isn’t my own, or evil/chaotic-aligned dökkálfar (I refer here to the dark elves, of course), or Shub-Niggurath, The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young. So yes, perhaps it’s my advancing age, but paranormal demise weighs heavily on my mind and I fear puts an asterisk next to my unmurderable status. A super-spooky asterisk.

Woke up to this terrifying scene. Overnight, the large egg...

Thu, 10 May 2012 09:47:00 -0400

Woke up to this terrifying scene. Overnight, the large egg tipped over. I don’t know which possibility is more fearsome:

That the creature living in the egg was trying to hatch so it could come murder me in my sleep.
That I have an egg-tipping poltergeist, which might also murder me, perhaps by throwing one of the eggs at my head at high velocity.

In either event, my ovo-related murder seems imminent. Does anybody want a couple of eggs?

Drawing scores of tiny stripes on dozens of tiny bees

Wed, 09 May 2012 19:05:48 -0400

As one often does on a Wednesday evening. This feels like a metaphor for something. Praises to Jah for the hand-steadying properties of gin. The sun is streaming in on my new eggs, the big one and the small one, and I still don’t know what’s going to come out of them. Gemma porpoise-yawns, and watches intently, always watching. Back to the bees.

[Note: I have decided to start a pinterest. This blog is my...

Wed, 09 May 2012 12:35:00 -0400

[Note: I have decided to start a pinterest. This blog is my first “pin-board”, as they’re known. If any “pinning” veterans out there want to share tips and tricks with this rookie, I’d surely appreciate them. OK, here goes—hope I’m pinning this right!]

To the extent that one can lust after a fucking plate, I am lusting after these today. But I am also coming off a Lost Weekend-magnitude online shopping bender, so I’m prohibiting myself from buying them. Still, would you look at how lovely they are? Would you imagine how perfect they’d look displayed side-by-side, my real city and my unreal city, home and dream-home? They’re giving me a want ache, for both the things themselves and the places they represent.

[This concludes my first pinboard. I hope you enjoyed it! Coming soon, I’m going to pinterest Gemma. Watch out Gemma LOL.]

A somber thought

Tue, 08 May 2012 19:27:00 -0400

I know that F+L is usually a place of mirth, but I just had a sad thought and now I’m feeling somewhat melancholy. I was thinking of, like, our great-great-great-grandparents, who lived in the Middle Ages (for instance the 17th century), and who didn’t yet know the rich and creamy goodness that is Chobani™ Greek Yogurt. I don’t even know if Greek people were around back then, much less making yogurt!!!! Instead, our benighted forebears had to make do with non-Greek yogurts such as Dannon and Yoplait. Gag me with a stick! They probably hadn’t even invented fruit on the bottom of the cup in the Middle Ages, so the yogurt was probably just like either plain or banana. So I’m just feeling kind of sad. I think about my great-great-great grandfather, coming in from a long day of feudal serfdom, working the fields for his liege etc., and wanting only the rich and creamy goodness of a Greek yogurt to slake his immense hunger, if only he knew what Greek yogurt was. Instead he had to settle for Banana Yoplait and probably, like, Fresca (from a bottle). We should be thankful for what we have, is my point in writing this blog.