Got me these eggs. Am not sure what’s going to come out of them. Hope not a small monster and a large monster who are going to murder me in my sleep.
Just discovered thing: can’t reblog self onto own blog. How am I supposed to have a dialogue with myself? Anyway—
OK, so it’s not the New York Times, and it’s not a trend piece about young professionals and their Draw Something fatigue—I still think that is forthcoming!—but here’s an article about how the app is in the shitter: Draw Something’s Disastrous Month: Three Theories Behind the Slump. I’d add a fourth, more personal theory: Vital drawing fluids being sapped by Paper obsession.
Money burn from the article: “In retrospect, it’s like Zynga sunk “huge amounts of stock in Pogs or Members Only jackets,” says Forbes’ Tassie.” Ow!
![I have a new rug. Gemma has never known such a rug, and was initially suspicious of it, but is now making herself right at home on it. This caption is unrelated to the below.
So Gemma, the dog who has never met an adult or small child or elderly person she didn’t love, has this thing about other dogs, especially when she is on her leash. It’s as if she doesn’t understand cordial dog-dog relations; she goes into them way too intensely, aggressively sniffing, putting her head on the other dog’s body (big alpha move), generally being kind of a dick. She is fine (if snorty) when other dogs pass on the sidewalk as long as I shorten her leash and we keep walking briskly. But then there are the dog owners who insist on stopping, thinking everyone wants to meet and play with their dog. Or, worse, the mutants who let their dog off leash in the middle of the goddamn city. For these people, I have developed a kind of canned response, one that I think communicates that Gemma is not a mean dog but just has some issues with other dogs when she’s on the leash. The weird thing is, I find myself constantly using a different adjective to describe her behavior. It’s like the pressure to say something activates my inner thesaurus. Here are some actual ways I’ve responded to owners of dogs who’ve gotten in Gemma’s face of late, and who say something like, “It’s OK, he’s friendly” or, as today, “He don’t bite”:
“Um, my dog is a little cantankerous when she’s on her leash.”
“Er, my dog gets a little crabby on the leash.”
“Uh, my dog is somewhat obstreperous on her leash.”
[breaking form] “Sorry, my dog’s a bit of an asshole with other dogs.”
“Um, she gets a little rambunctious on leash.”
I’m going to keep working on expanding my repertoire of adjectives for her on-leash behavior. So far I haven’t used choleric, irascible, quarrelsome, surly, feisty… Maybe “feisty” should be the default; I think that’s about perfect. She’s feisty!](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3m3m8iSn61qz7u53o1_1280.jpg)
I have a new rug. Gemma has never known such a rug, and was initially suspicious of it, but is now making herself right at home on it. This caption is unrelated to the below.
So Gemma, the dog who has never met an adult or small child or elderly person she didn’t love, has this thing about other dogs, especially when she is on her leash. It’s as if she doesn’t understand cordial dog-dog relations; she goes into them way too intensely, aggressively sniffing, putting her head on the other dog’s body (big alpha move), generally being kind of a dick. She is fine (if snorty) when other dogs pass on the sidewalk as long as I shorten her leash and we keep walking briskly. But then there are the dog owners who insist on stopping, thinking everyone wants to meet and play with their dog. Or, worse, the mutants who let their dog off leash in the middle of the goddamn city. For these people, I have developed a kind of canned response, one that I think communicates that Gemma is not a mean dog but just has some issues with other dogs when she’s on the leash. The weird thing is, I find myself constantly using a different adjective to describe her behavior. It’s like the pressure to say something activates my inner thesaurus. Here are some actual ways I’ve responded to owners of dogs who’ve gotten in Gemma’s face of late, and who say something like, “It’s OK, he’s friendly” or, as today, “He don’t bite”:
- “Um, my dog is a little cantankerous when she’s on her leash.”
- “Er, my dog gets a little crabby on the leash.”
- “Uh, my dog is somewhat obstreperous on her leash.”
- [breaking form] “Sorry, my dog’s a bit of an asshole with other dogs.”
- “Um, she gets a little rambunctious on leash.”
I’m going to keep working on expanding my repertoire of adjectives for her on-leash behavior. So far I haven’t used choleric, irascible, quarrelsome, surly, feisty… Maybe “feisty” should be the default; I think that’s about perfect. She’s feisty!
The New Yorker’s subscription-lapsed letters are totally passive aggressive. I’m also getting daily calls from Condé Nast. Neediest ex-magazine ever. I’m expecting a fusillade of 2am drunk texts from Adam Gopnik any night now where he talks about our time together in Paris. Ugh, that guy and Paris.
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Lower Dens, “Brains”
Thing I am currently loving: Nootropics, the new album by Lower Dens. When the Other Music newsletter wrote “Tracks like “Brains” almost seem to take Neu! into a pop realm, with a gently driving rhythm swooping in and out and prominent synths,” I knew this was something I needed to hear. Motorik with gorgeous female vocals on top? Yes yes yes I said yes. I want to take too much codeine and drive my electric car entirely too fast down the Autobahn when listening to this.
Gemma, two minutes ago, waiting patiently for an overdue walk while I blogged this blog post.
Did I ever tell you guys about one of my very favorite things Gemma does? When it is time for a walk and I am gathering the supplies—leash, poo bag, keys—she’ll do this excited little mini-hop where she touches my hand with her wet nose. I love it and call it her dolphin move, because it reminds me of how trainers at sea park shows have dolphins touch their hands with their bottlenoses to receive a fish. I wish I could give Gemma a nice tasty fish every time she does it.
Wow, thanks, Draw Something, for pushing this important alert to my iPad. Can’t wait to draw some of these new mom-words! OCTOMOM: how au courant!! And TEENMOM: think of the hilarious possibilities! Signed, Someone who’s about to delete your app.
Ooo, looky what just landed on my doorstep with a thud! This is one hefty tome, and I’m extremely excited to read it once my eyes uncross themselves from having stared at the cover for too long.
The book’s already won me over with its back cover author bio: “Sergio de la Pava is a writer who does not live in Brooklyn.”
Also: does this photo look blurry because I took it with coffee hands? Or is it because YOUR EYES are going crazy too?
Having a hard time getting going today… feeling like Ol’ Flappy Pants Pappy himself.
Oh, I don’t like this one bit. Some ahole is making piñatas of Laika, the first dog in space, and selling them on etsy: http://nyti.ms/IC5L1f Really dude? That’s how you’re going to treat the memory of a poor animal who was sent all by her lonesome into deep, black space, to die alone and confused? Laika should be celebrated as a dog saint, a tragic canine we revere, not made into some overpriced piece of kitschy papier mâché that is meant to be beaten with a stick. Poor Laika, still being abused in her afterlife. Thumbs down.
