Falling and Laughing

K., Erik, 1977– Falling and laughing Chicago: 2007. p. : ill. (some col.); imaginary dimensions. Coarse language sometimes used. Non-fiction, except for bits fabricated by author. SUMMARY: Music-, dog-, word-besotted Chicago man discovers he enjoys talking back to the internet. Fun times ensue. SEE ALSO: SUBJECTS OCCUPATION: Lapsed librarian, current designer, aspiring flâconteur (rare minotaur-like creature that is half flâneur, half raconteur).

SUBJECTS Falling and laughing 1. Thoughts--their shape. 2. Thoughts--ones had while walking dog. 3. Thoughts--ones that made me laugh. 4. Thoughts--the kind I’ve got. 5. Spleen--its venting. 6. Japery--assorted. 7. Words. 8. Music. 9. Books. 10. Obsessions--varied. 11. Animals--facts. 12. Animals--made-up things.  13. Dogs--beloved halfling Rottweiler. 14. Birds-- the bowerbird. 15. Birds--the great bustard. 16. Illinois--Chicago--residents--lives and customs. 17. Happiness--its pursuit.

Close Drawer

annicka asked: did you decide to throw in the blogging towel after your prolific post on moisturizing?

Yes! I reached the end of blogging with my moisturizer post. After that post, there were no more blogs to blog. I don’t mean just for me: for you too. Everybody. Quit blogging, everybody.

BUT SERIOUSLY you might have noticed I was running a little hot these past couple weeks. Words words words! I need to recharge the word bank and have a think on what I’m doing here, so I’m been taking a wee step-away from the ol’ Falling + Laughing as part of a general decrazing-of-my-life interval.

If I decide there are more things to blog about—that I did not, in fact, reach the end of blogging—I might be back next week with a special series called The Lighter Side of…. Falling + Laughing, in which I post photos of Gem and also offer my contemporary yet droll musings on such diverse topics as “going to the doctor’s office,” “airplane food!” and “wives.”

5 Mar 2010 //
 2 notes //
 #
I’m so glad that this Nivea for Men REVITALIZING Lotion Q10 has the strong masculine fragrance of every single cologne tester strip from every single issue of GQ from 1991-1993. (I mean all of them combined, at once, and also olfactorily-amplified.) Otherwise I would feel super gay wearing face moisturizer. Besides reassuring me that I am extremely non-gay, the thick man-musk of Nivea for Men REVITALIZING Lotion Q10 also enhances my swagger. I feel like the protagonist of the video game series Grand Theft Auto. I might carjack you! I might make love to you (if you are a mad sexy woman)! You never know, such is the strength/unpredictability of my swagger! Finally, the “Q10” part of Nivea for Men REVITALIZING Lotion Q10 is extremely technical-sounding, further reassuring me that I love to make love to ladies.

I’m so glad that this Nivea for Men REVITALIZING Lotion Q10 has the strong masculine fragrance of every single cologne tester strip from every single issue of GQ from 1991-1993. (I mean all of them combined, at once, and also olfactorily-amplified.) Otherwise I would feel super gay wearing face moisturizer.

Besides reassuring me that I am extremely non-gay, the thick man-musk of Nivea for Men REVITALIZING Lotion Q10 also enhances my swagger. I feel like the protagonist of the video game series Grand Theft Auto. I might carjack you! I might make love to you (if you are a mad sexy woman)! You never know, such is the strength/unpredictability of my swagger!

Finally, the “Q10” part of Nivea for Men REVITALIZING Lotion Q10 is extremely technical-sounding, further reassuring me that I love to make love to ladies.

2 Mar 2010 //
 Embiggen //
 10 notes //
 #
Wait a minute, tumblr radar: You’re telling me that there exists, on tumblr, Polaroid photos? And not only that, but Polaroid photos of ambiguously poetic phrases set in stylish type?!?! Thanks tumblr radar for radaring me to this phenomenon!

Wait a minute, tumblr radar: You’re telling me that there exists, on tumblr, Polaroid photos? And not only that, but Polaroid photos of ambiguously poetic phrases set in stylish type?!?! Thanks tumblr radar for radaring me to this phenomenon!

9:27 PM //
 13 notes //
 #

The Elephant in the Room that the '90s Gangsta Rap Academic Establishment Refuses to Address

When Snoop Dogg makes a jimmy joke about your mama that you might not like, it isn’t a joke, nor does it mention jimmies.

3:39 PM //
 5 notes //
 #
Maybe you thought that “turkeycake” was the least-appealing-sounding holiday confection possible. Well, bad news for you, the Swedish Bakery on Clark St. yields fresh horrors with each new holiday season. Consider, for a moment, these three words: Marzipan bowler hat. Swish them around in your mouth. No, actually, chew them. Chew them thickly. Feel your fillings throb from the sugary punch. Marzipan bowler hat. Do you see it now, in your mind’s eye? The marzipan bowler hat? Good. Now lick the brim. Lick the brim of the marzipan bowler hat. Its disgusting green fondant is making your tongue green. It is the sweetest thing you’ve ever tasted that is hat-shaped. Now go sit in a corner, facing the wall, and rock back and forth quietly until St Patrick’s Day has passed.

Maybe you thought that “turkeycake” was the least-appealing-sounding holiday confection possible. Well, bad news for you, the Swedish Bakery on Clark St. yields fresh horrors with each new holiday season. Consider, for a moment, these three words:

Marzipan bowler hat.

Swish them around in your mouth. No, actually, chew them. Chew them thickly. Feel your fillings throb from the sugary punch.

Marzipan bowler hat.

Do you see it now, in your mind’s eye? The marzipan bowler hat? Good.

Now lick the brim. Lick the brim of the marzipan bowler hat. Its disgusting green fondant is making your tongue green. It is the sweetest thing you’ve ever tasted that is hat-shaped.

Now go sit in a corner, facing the wall, and rock back and forth quietly until St Patrick’s Day has passed.

1:41 PM //
 Embiggen //
 7 notes //
 #

(1) A cappuccino, fuck it1

(2) Somewhere nice (note total lack of mosquitos at)

(3) CONGRATU-WAFFLES

(4) I left this Swedish waffle segment for you. It is the happy opposite of pouring out some liquor for fallen comrades. You are my risen comrades, and I thank you all for helping me keep my shit together, and better yet, for keeping me on my PMA grind. SYRUPY HEART CONGRATU-WAFFLE YOU GUYS!

—

1. I am embarrassed at how badly I misquoted the poet earlier this morning. The actual lines are, of course

I might even have me a cappuccino, fuck it
I’m goin’ somewhere nice with no mosquitos at [n-word redacted]

You might wonder how I verified the lines. I verified them via listening to them over and over again this morning. You can too, in fact I highly recommend it, esp. if you are interested in feeling 7’ tall/undmurderable.

12:51 PM //
 11 notes //
 #
You win, Ann Sather! Swedish waffles make the best CONGATU-WAFFLES.

You win, Ann Sather!

Swedish waffles make the best CONGATU-WAFFLES.

11:52 AM //
 Embiggen //
 5 notes //
 #
You, Svea, are a total Swedish tease. On account of your not having waffles.

You, Svea, are a total Swedish tease. On account of your not having waffles.

11:50 AM //
 Embiggen //
 1 note //
 #
Yesterday—begloomed outside, and inside filled with frantic February carryover—didn’t count as the first day of March. Today is the first day of March. And so let me offer you this, my favorite Saul Steinberg drawing. Happy first day of March.

Yesterday—begloomed outside, and inside filled with frantic February carryover—didn’t count as the first day of March. Today is the first day of March. And so let me offer you this, my favorite Saul Steinberg drawing.

Happy first day of March.

10:40 AM //
 16 notes //
 #
9:03 AM //
 3 notes //
 #

« Deeper into the stacks